Are there some days that just seem like everything that happens during the day just grates on your nerves? Recently I have started realizing that this is happening to me more and more, especially at work. I’m not sure what has changed and I’m not sure what I can do to make my outlook a little more positive but it’s starting to really get to me.
I wake up in the morning and I just don’t want to go to the office because I know that something is bound to happen that I am just going to be annoyed or frustrated about in the next 10 hours while I am there. Our company has undergone a lot of changes in the past year and a half and more is still coming. As of next week my team will start over almost again completely in terms of finding new business because our Director decided that what we thought was true and inpatient medicine is not growing as quickly out the outpatient side of things. So now I will go back to what I was doing in 2009 and focus my marketing efforts on clinics again. I feel like I just can’t get ahead of things in the office right now. Add to that, I know that I have a pretty full plate because in addition to work I have my MBA program. Typically I feel like I have a plan as to how I’m going to accomplish things. And while I still am on track for my tasks (mainly school stuff) there is just something that is throwing me off.
I actually asked myself this weekend (and asked Rene) if he thought that I was making the bad decision in working towards my MBA. I’m not sure why, I know that it was a goal that I have had really since I finished undergrad that I would go back and after the wedding I just felt like it was a good time to start. Work was going great, my sales numbers were above some of the more tenured people and then in 2010 when my team was transitioned into a new direction things just kept falling off and I don’t feel like they’ve ever picked back up.
In the end I am starting to feel like I’ve hit a place in the position that I don’t know where else I will go from here. There are no pay increases for tenure or accomplishment, except in commissions. The position is not one that lends itself to being a parent (though that is FAR in the future its something to think about). And the company does not necessarily seem to invest in the people. I feel like these are all things that I have known and I feel like I’ve known that I won’t be here for the long term (as I approach 3 years with the company) but at the same time recently it’s just really built up and I find myself asking how to get out of this “funk”…..it kind of reminds me of Eeyore on Winnie the Pooh…where’s my little black rain cloud?
